After five months of immigration in 2023, I returned to Russia to continue my studies. Upon my return, I expressed my dissatisfaction to my loved ones about many aspects of modern Russia: censorship, war, propaganda, and in general the general "spirit. They urged me, "If you don't like it, go back."
When all the posters and speeches of the president promote "traditional values," I just want to bury myself inside and not come to the surface, feeling like insignificant dust. In Russia, there is a tradition of hanging carpets on the walls, especially for older women like my grandmothers. There are several reasons for this: first, carpets insulate rooms from the cold and improve heat exchange, and second, they serve as a decorative element that adds coziness to the home environment. Many grandmothers also associate this tradition with showing their wealth and status, as quality carpets are considered a symbol of wealth.
I associate carpets on the walls with my grandmother, who supports the current regime in Russia.
Despite the environment's attempts to impose its values, it has only made me more aggressive.